If you are working on your Southern Language, you are probably ready to begin including Southern words in brief notes and short letters of correspondence. Have some fun with these ten additional words.
Coat of arms (n) [singular] Family pedigree hung on the wall; you don’t have to prove it, just hang it straight. [plural] When you have several dead relatives you can lie about. [ant.] Arms of coats (n) Holding coats for everybody as you say goodbye when it’s time for the comp’ny to leave.
Come and see (v) Show up and take a good look.
Company (n) [Comp’ny] 1. Guests and visitors, related or not related, same thing! 2. Comp’ny is one more than yourself. 3. Any group of people who get together and can remember their purpose.
Bicuspid (adj.) Having the ability to cuss in two languages, i.e. Regular and Southern.
Crab claws (n) The bid’ness end of a crab. Good eatin’, too, if they’re fixed right.
Crotchety (adj) Having the attitude of a human crab, leading naturally to being fidgety and making others fidgety. The condition can’t be alleviated by talcum power because being crotchety tends to run deeper.
De-fang (v) 1. To take out the scary part, as in “de-fang” the situation by using humor. 2. An old-fashioned tooth pullin’.
Dose (n) 1) A measured amount of a thing you take as a cure or as punishment. 2) A measured amount of “feel good.” (If you have ever taken a dose of castor oil you know what dose means. If you haven’t, take some and you will be able to explain it for the rest of your life.)
Double-dog dare (n) A ser’ous challenge. (v) How a country boy challenges someone to do something that is probably foolish.
Double first name (n) The given appellation of a Southern person, either child or adult, comprised of two names commonly considered single, e.g. Arthur Price, Mary Evelyn (pronounced Mae Revlun) Donald Albert, Willie Hazel, (probably turned out to be a boyish-girl), Ola Perl, Okemah Lee, Ina Christine, Earl Junior (without an Earl Senior), James Harvey, Linda Beatrice (Bee-at-tris).
Drop in a dictionary word at the end of your note to a friend: Example: “As we say in the South . . .” (List any dictionary word you choose—with no other comment.)
If you are not a Southerner, that’s even better. In the line above change “we” to “they.” Your friend may wonder where YOU learned to speak Southern!
