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Hi, I'm Danny. Bubba is a
mythical character who lives in the South, and is my alter-ego. He is
as well known here as Kilroy was in "World's War Two," as Bubba calls it.
Although he is famous for his Southern ways, people from the North can
learn to appreciate Bubba when they want to. The trick is to be able to
recognize when Bubba is intentionally sounding dumb and when he is being
funny. He is fun-loving, clever, a bit naive, and essentially honest.
I was reading Rosalie some Bubba Sayings I had just written and she
exclaimed, "Danny, you are a Bubba!" I said, "Certainly, I am a Bubba.
How could I write Bubba sayings if I were not a Bubba?"
You may not be a Bubba, but I hope you will discover that there is a
little Bubba in you--in fact, the Bubba-like, easy-going, good natured,
fun-loving part of you may be the part of you that people like the most.
Take a few minutes to relax and settle down so you can get to know ole'
Bubba. In these introductory pages you will have a sampling of what I
call "Bubba Stuff." Bubba says this introduction is unlike the first
curtain at a girlie show in the carnival because what follows is not
naughty. But it is like a teaser aiming to convince you to expand your
world by looking in on Bubba's world. Take a few minutes to get
acquainted with Bubba.
In the next ten or twelve minutes we will introduce you to Bubba and his
wife, Bubbette. Later, you will meet their three children--learn what
names they picked for them--and you will meet Bubba's big dog named
Spot. Bubba will explain why he gave his all-white dog the name of Spot.
You will learn how Bubbette calls the children with a "clangin' bell." Bubba will tell you how and why he became a philosopher one afternoon
about 3:30.
Bubba as a Wisdom Figure
Bubba is a "carrier of wisdom" and insists that wisdom must be fun,
clean, courteous, sometimes off the wall," and "rememberable." Bubba's
uniqueness is not just in what he says, but in the way he says it. Here
are some examples of Bubba Sayings:
Bubba said, "Every time I hear that phone, it's ringin'."
Bubba said, "It got so cold last winter that it took two beagle hounds
with a jumper cable to get a rabbit to run."
Bubba says that after 40, the memory is the third thing to go. (He
figures you already know what the first two are.)
Bubba said, "You ought to see my Aunt Artica. When she sees snow she
goes bananas and dives head-long into the snow, which is not a pretty
sight. If you think that's weird, wait 'til you meet my uncle."
Bubba says that he is neither for nor against apathy.
Bubba says, "You can put me in jail, but you can't stop my face from
breaking out."
Someone asked Bubba if he knew how to spell "Mississippi," and he said,
"Which do you mean, the state or the river?"
You will find "Bubbatizaions"
"Bubbatizations" are Bubba's personal glossary of words and terms. You
cannot develop a profound understanding of his insight, humor, and fun,
unless you understand that he often means different meanings for some of
his meanings, as he puts it. Look for Bubbatizations below.
Examples:
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Country boy (n) A
country boy is like the difference between "salty" ham and "sweet"
(sugar cured ) city ham. A city boy may be nice and cultured, and
"sweet," but a country boy is rough, and tough, and "salty."
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Buffoonery (n)
Bubba says, "It is a strange sounding word, isn't it? And it has a
strange meaning."
-
Pick 'em up truck
(n) What Bubba means when he refers to his pick 'em up truck.
-
Road-kill (adj)
1. Not edible unless you hit it yourself. 2. A road-kill possum can be
flat, but needs to be fresh. (3) If it is not fresh, kick it off the
road and don't even leave it for the road crew.
-
Knocked off your pins
(common phrase) Bubba is not exactly, or right sure, what this phrase
means. Someone mentioned it to him, he liked it, and just wanted to
save it to use later.
-
Stormed (adj)
When someone storms in or out of the door, they usually shut it as
fast as if it was pushed by a mighty wind. It slams like thunder and
makes a hail of a noise.
"Bubbatized Stories"
Here is an example of a "Bubbatized" story, like only Bubba can tell.
Sweet Child
Bubba was born during hard times because of the depression. His family
lived on a "rural farm," as Bubba called it. They stayed honest, but
poor (or poor, but honest) during the entire depression.
They began to think that baby Bubba, as he would later be nick named,
just might be ready to be born. They couldn't be sure that the
mother-to-be was ready to give birth because she had eaten some collard
greens and they didn't know if she was having contractions or gas.
No matter, she had suddenly gotten too sick to travel the ten miles to
town, so the doctor came to the house to check her condition.
The doctor could not leave for a day and a night because there had been
several crisis times when they almost lost the mother and the baby. When
it was clear that both were doing fine, the doctor prepared to return to
town.
In later years Bubba heard the additional part of the story. The doctor
was a good family friend and knew of the financial circumstances of the
family, which were probably no different than many of his other patients
during the depression.
The doctor owned a small hospital in town. He and Bubba's daddy talked
over the situation and came to an agreement. When the doctor sent his
bill it called for twelve gallons of cain syrup as full payment for "services rendered." He valued the syrup because he could use it in his
hospital.
Bubba said there are two memorable consequences of this story. First,
times were so difficult, it actually took part of three years for
Bubba's family to pay the full amount of twelve gallons of syrup.
Second, Bubba says that being paid for by syrup was one reason Bubba was
always such a sweet child.
This is a true story that has been "Bubbatized." There are lots more
Bubbatized stories to come: "When Bubba Bought His Manure Spreader,"
"The Night Bubba 'Volunteered' to Work in a JCPenny Store" and many
others.
This ends our introduction to Bubba.
There is much more to come. There are lots more Bubba Sayings,
Bubbatizations, and Bubbatized stories. There is also Bubba's Bubb-Bubb
Movateria (which Bubba says is an up-grade over a cafeteria). There is
Bubba's country music song, "One Lonely Sideburn." (You can actually
hear the song.) There is "A Tribute to Bubba." The final humorous and
tender piece is "Lester's Song." |
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