(By Marti and Parker–edited)

Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.

There’s no such thing as too much candy!

All work and no play can make you a basket case.

Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.

Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.

It’s OK if some body parts become floppy.

Keep your paws off of other people’s jelly beans.

The grass is always greener in another person’s basket.

To show your true colors you have to come out of the shell.

The best things in life are still sweet and gooey!

There are times when a big word says more: Nincompoop.

Sometimes a little word says it best:

“Is” is singular: Is she coming? “Are” is pleural: Are they here? “Filthy” is a quantifier: He is filthy rich!

Refrain from using the wrong word to reply to someone—“Don’t thank me, this is the least I could do!” (If you really wish to help, why not do the most you could do?)

Don’t refer to someone’s baby as a “cute little bugger.”

A “bugger” is uncertain discharge from the nose.

Say to a biker-friend, “I’m not the one who just backed into your motorcycle!”

There are some “front-end-loaded” words you can use, “just for fun!” (After speaking each word observe the response.) When conversation ebbs in a crowd of friends, speak one word: “Ostentatious.” Next ebb: speak “Hallucinate.”  Next ebb: speak “Accommodation.” These words open a world of their own. (See if your friends have a clue.)

Some words that friends love to hear you say: “Nice to see ya!” “I’ve never seen you look better!” “I love that coat on you!” “That is a good color for you!” “I have the money I owe you!”

Two words that seem to belong together: “She was hurtin’ for certin’!”

A word that never stops walking: centipede.

The best—and most—cherished word in the English Language—love.

The most forgotten word in the English Language: _____________ (Give me a minute.)

A word you should never speak: _______________

A word that is frequently mispelt: f o r _  _  _  e n.

- DEM

Our humor quotient increases as we develop a mind-set that values the gifts of humor so much that we are willing to work at it. But it is fun-work! You can carry your disposition toward humor—almost—anywhere you go. Have your humor-button ON when you take “shopping trips,” and everything about you will be different and better! If something clicks with you, that is even better!

Joke-telling is a relatively small part of humor, and you have to be with someone for that to happen. Most of us are by ourselves more than with someone so we can’t depend on jokes to pull us through. When we keep our eyes and ears open we will likely experience enough humor to keep our spirits high.

Twice today while Rosalie and I were out and about, I said something that was off-the-wall because I could see humor in it. But because her knee (soon to be replaced) was hurting she made no response. Each time, I said, “ That was off-the-wall,” or “That was supposed to be funny.” (No  responses.)

I wasn’t discouraged that my humor attempts didn’t connect.  I kept it up and when her knee quit hurting she was ready to laugh!

Take it from me: Humor is a spiritual gift—no doubt about it! I have added to St. Paul’s ten spiritual gifts listed in 1st. Corinthians, 12:10. My number eleven is Humor. (That makes it official that humor is a spiritual gift!)

You can verify it from experience. One cannot feel humorous, or be humorous when angry, distressed, fearful, vindictive, or . . . . . Any such non-spiritual qualities or attitudes as these will block it.

For Visitors

When a congregation actualizes the Spiritual Gift of Humor through-out the church as a warm and welcoming lifestyle, visitors—and members alike—will want to come back, and come back, and come back! First-time visitors’ discomfort about being in a crowd of strangers is lowered. They are likely to want to become a part of such a cheerful group.

For Members:

Spiritual humor reflects the Character of God in non-threatening ways and provides a chance for persons to give and to receive. Claiming the Spiritual Gift of Humor as a valid part of the church’s general curric-ulum helps shape the ethos and lifestyle of the congregation. Also, people in the church who would choose to not be involved in a direct form of outreach can help share—as they share in—the Spiritual Gift of Humor, week-to-week.

Sunday-by-Sunday the church serves as a “laboratory of humor” that provides wholesome and welcomed alternatives to dark humor that relentlessly bombards everyone.

I began thinking about the significance of a point of view when our friend left a message that he would call back to talk about going into the ministry. Rosalie said, “That’s wonderful. I’ll get on the phone when he calls.” I said, “This is a confidential matter, and it would be inappropriate for you to listen in on privileged conversation.” She said, “You’re right.”

When he called I said, “Rosalie wants to say hello to you,” He said, “Hello, Rosalie. I am going to enter seminary and I need a letter of recommendation. I would like for you to write it.” After hanging up the phone, both of us fell out laughing because of the surprise in his request.

An ole’ boy bought a hundred hogs to fatten up for market. Six months later the market was down and he sold them for $5.00 a head less than he paid for them. His wife said, “I know you are disappointed about losing all that money on the hogs.”  He said, “It’s all in the way you look at it. Remember, I had the use of every one of them hogs for six months.” Now there is a guy with an winning point of view. Dump a load of coal in his lap and he will sell it for firewood.

Imagine hearing the music of a “One Arm Fiddler.” There is an image for you! With only one arm, how does he hold his fiddle? How does he do his fret-work? What quality of music can he produce?

It doesn’t matter. Don’t worry about such details. Just hold the image of such a person in your imagination and you will be ahead. If you can imagine the “One Arm Fiddler” doing his thing, you will admire him instead of pity him. That is also a winning point of view for you!

I’m surprised at how frequently someone will tell me that they do not laugh much, or laugh enough. When I’m with someone who laughs, I get an emotional lift, so I try to help people laugh a lot.

My mother’s name was Lucy Lujeania. She named me Danny Eugene. I’m glad she didn’t name me Lucy.

This test will prove that robust laughter stimulates the endocrine gland: go for awhile without laughing and see how you feel!

Whenever you read a mystery, your mind is stimulated.

Whenever you watch “I Love Lucy,” your imagination is stimulated.

With a good mind and a vivid imagination you will be a winner!

We can’t succeed when we tend to out-run more than we over-take!

I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve wished I had a dollar!

Sleep is the only place you can get it when you need it. Is sleep a noun or a verb?

Attitude is everything:

A “go-get-er” says, “Let’s do something, even if we have to clean it up!”

A “quitter” has nothing to do!

A friend told me that his greatest fear is that people will laugh at him. I told him my greatest fear is that people will not laugh at me!

Here are two secrets about life:

• As often as you need to, cry your heart out!
• Whenever possible, laugh your head off!

A guy came to an intersection on a farm-to-market road. While stopped he noticed a farmer just beyond the fence standing behind about a sixty pound hog. He reached around and under it’s belly and picked up the hog—with it’s nose into the leaves of the tree.

The traveler walked over to the man and said, “Hey buddy. Why are you holding that hog up like that?”

“I’m lettin’ him eat these acorns out of this tree.”

“Do you have any idea how long it will take that hog to eat the acorns out of the tree?”

“It don’t matter how long it takes. Time don’t mean nothin’ to a hog.”

Rosalie and I went to the Emerald Coast at Destin in West Florida to celebrate recovery from her two knee replacements. The Emerald Coast is recognized as having the most beautiful beaches in the world. This was our first trip out of town in five years. Her two sisters and brother-in-law met us there. The three sisters prefer each other when there is a chance to be together. The beach was beautiful and the weather was splendid. The trip was everything we hoped it would be.

On about day five she gathered clothes, damp towels and such, and headed for the laundry room on second floor. She was delighted to find a large machine and several smaller ones. She thought, “Bingo! I can put this big load into the big machine!” (When everything was loaded, there was still space remaining.) She put in the laundry powder, along with four quarters and left the room for an hour. When she returned the clothes were hot and dry as she had expected. But, she wondered about why the laundry powder was still visible on the clothes. Suddenly, she realized that she had loaded everything into a huge dryer.

As a man walked into the laundry room Rosalie broke into laughter and began to tell him, “You won’t believe what I did. I filled that dryer with clothes thinking it was a washer.” He said, “You are right that is a dryer. Don’t worry about it—I’ve done things like that.”

By the time she arrived at our condo she couldn’t stop laughing. She told me what happened and said, “Danny, do you think I’m losing my mind?” I said, “No, that was just dumb!” We are still laughing—along with everyone she has told about it.

The Catholic Priest called the sanitation department and said, “This is Father Pat at The Mary and Joseph Catholic Church. A small donkey has dropped dead on my lawn. Can you come and remove it?”

The man said, “Us country boys would call that a jackass. I’ll be by later in the morning.” As he said this he was already beginning to laugh. He said, “Reverend, have you given the jackass what you call Last Rites?” And he laughed and laughed and laughed!

When he finished laughing, Father Pat said, “There are two parts to administering Last Rites: One is speaking the Rites, and the other is notifying the next of kin—which I have just done!”

The Preacher needed to make a couple of calls in his neighborhood. He noticed his bike and decided he would ride it since he would be gone a short time. As he rode down the street he saw a little boy from the church sitting out on the curb by an old lawn mower.

He said, “Billy, what are you doing out here?” Billy said, “I’m trying to sell this old lawn mower so I can buy myself a bicycle.” The Preacher thought a moment and said, “I have a bicycle. How about trading with me and then you will have a bicycle.”

He said, “I’ll have to ride it to see if I like it.” When he returned he said, “You’ve got a deal.”

Billy was enjoying sitting on his bicycle and the Preacher went over to the lawn mower and pulled the starter cord. He pulled it again, and a third and fourth time. It didn’t crank.

Billy said, “If you want to get it to crank you have to cuss it first!”

“Billy, I’m a Preacher. I don’t cuss. I can’t remember the last time I cussed. In fact, I may have forgotten how to cuss.”  Billy said, “If you pull that cord four or five more time, it will all come back to you!”