A “put-down” or an emotional slam-dunk can cut the heart out of a person. Have you ever experienced either? Perhaps experiencing a put-down once, or even occasionally, will not cripple a person. But when it happens over, and over, and over, it can be crippling, demoralizing, demeaning, and shattering to one’s inner spirit.
If you have been repeatedly put-down, you may be wondering if you can ever “get up” again.
You can—no doubt about it! But you need to take action that will help you.
First, be honest with yourself. A tough word spoken to you may feel like an unfair put-down when, actually, there is some validity to what was said. Check it out and deal with the facts that confront you. Also, consider these steps:
- Is there any way you can avoid the person who hurts you with unfair put-downs? (If you can, avoid that person like the plague!)
- The next time it happens, don’t ignore it! Point out to the person the hurtful thing that was said. If that serves as a corrective to the person, fine. At least, it will feel good for you to name it. That draws a line in the sand against it happening again.
- Or, if it happens again—don’t take it lying down! If you have the strength within, say, “I do not enjoy being put-down like that!” And then walk away. (If you don’t feel you can say something like that, just stand there in silence and let the person see that you have been wounded by their words.) This silent action may require the greatest strength of any of these responses.
- This is strictly for the gutsy: Pray a certain way for the one (or ones) who put you down. Pray—and continue to pray—that they will be blessed, and blessed, and blessed, and that good things will come to them. (From “The Big Book.”)
After you have taken any of these action steps, find a quiet place and get in touch with how you feel about acting or reacting the way you did.
Do you feel good about making your chosen effort? Do you feel your spiritlaughing a little? If you wish to, tell someone what was accomplished by your action. E-mail me atDanny@spiritslaughing.com ncidentally, I looked in the Bible for the words “put-down” and “slam-dunk.” Neither word made it into Holy Scripture. But Proverbs 15: 1-5 is worth reading by anyone who feels put-down or slam-dunked.
