I was born and raised in St. Joseph, in the middle of Tennessee. About 1960 Mr. Henry Perry moved away with his sixteen kids. When Mr. Henry moved, that just ruined our census. It knocked us down to under 500, and there went our school system. We had eight grades in the grammar school and what we wanted was eight teachers. We ended up with eight grades and they allowed us only six teachers. So we had to combine the first and second and the third and forth grades. You had to scrap to make a good grade ‘cause the teacher didn’t have a whole lot of time to spend with ya’.

We had a State Senator named Marvin Bryant. He was trying his best to get St. Joe on the map. He knew some people that worked for T.V.A. You know T.V.A. was a big entity in that part of the world. The people who worked there made lots of money. They had a car. We didn’t have a car, but people who worked for T.V.A. had a car.

Mr. Marvin said, “What we really need in St. Joe is a fire truck. We have houses burnin’ to the ground, and we need a fire truck.”

He located one up in Virginia. That thing had twenty-four cylinders. It ran on twelve and pumped water on twelve. The big red fire truck had letters on the side, and them big hoses, and all them brass fittins’.

Sergeant Wilford had retired from the Army and moved to St. Joe. He worked in the fire department in the United States Army. He knew how to train people on puttin’ out a fire.

So, they got a volunteer fire department together.

The first thing they had to do was raise money because they needed some coats and some hats that turned around backwards to keep hot coals from going down ya’ neck—like we had any office buildin’ or anything—but the whole town made up the money. Mr. Marvin had Earl Scruggs and Lester Flatt playin’ music there. They drawed a big crowd! Took up three or four hundred dollars, tryin’ to get everybody one of them fire hats and a coat so they would be safe when they was’ fightin’ them fires.

Sarge was trainin’ ‘em how to use that fire truck. Sarge would train Little Bud Springer and Big Bud Springer, and Elmer Lee Chandler, and Mr. Walter Shelton, who had a lot of sense. He worked for T.V.A.!They would drive it down to the mule barn that was built on a creek. Sarge said, “Listen, this is a serious piece of equipment. You know it pumps on twelve cylinders.” They had a big old hose. That thing was three or four inches in diameter. It took two men to hold the end of it just to hook it up and put the water to it.

One day Sarge said, “We’re goin’ to throw the other end of this hose in the mule barn culvert, where the creek runs, and we’re goin’ to pump some water. Boys, point this thing up stream so it can suck the most water.” Billy Ray and Elmer Lee was on the front end of the hose.

Sarge timed ‘em, because in a volunteer fire department, you had to be quick! All you could see on Billy Ray and Elmer Lee was teeth—all forty-five or so teeth they had between ‘em. They were grinnin’ wide open. Somebody turned that thing on and Billy Ray and Elmer Lee found that holdin’ that hose turned out to be a four-man job. They didn’t know what to expect and didn’t know how to hold on—or turn it loose.

Sarge had to start all over again, and they worked and worked all summer. Finally, they felt like they knew how to use the fire truck.

Then they had to raise money to get a si-reen. It wasn’t a siren; it was a si-reen. They put it high up on a pole so everybody could hear it when it went off. It was a good volunteer fire department; a lot of good, carin’ people. They were doin’ it for the community.

Of course, the fire truck had a water reservoir—three or four hundred gallons of water.

Everything was ready. To tell you the truth, I think everybody was prayin’ for a fire. Of course, they were ready—they had their hats, they had their big coats that firemen wear. They had a fire truck, and they knew what to do with it. Weeks went by, and months went by, and they kept practicin’.

Poor old Miss Mable’s house was burnin’. They got the fire truck down there to Miss Mable’s and went through their drill. They pointed that hose toward Miss Mable’s house and cranked their twelve cylinders up and it pumped all of the water out of that truck in three minutes. They all stood there and watched Miss Mable’s house burn to the ground. It was a sad night for trained fire fighters.

They decide they needed a tank truck like was used for hauling oil and stuff. It took Sarge two or three months to get them wired in to how to use the second truck.

Then, Mr. Fred Bradly’s General Mercantile caught on fire. They drove both trucks to the fire, hooked everything up, and they were shootin’ water. Oh, boy! The water was sucked out of both tanks in no time. They had to stand there and watch Mr. Fred Bradly’s store burn to the ground. So they decided if a house on fire ain’t close to a creek, there ain’t no way to fight it. They bought about 200 feet more of the hose and prayed that the next fire would be close enough to a creek to give ‘em a fightin’ chance.

It must have been three years later before they had a fire that was within a hundred yards of a creek. There were two or three runnin’ down to the creek to throw the end of the hose in, with a couple of them hookin’ up that tank truck. They fired off all twelve cylinders, and started spraying water everywhere. They had enough equipment, and enough hose, and a fire truck, and a tank truck, and enough trained volunteers, they could put the fire out. Although they saved part of the house, they ruined everything in it with all of that water, but it didn’t burn to the ground.

It was Mr. Johnny Hutto’s house. When they finished, they said, “Johnny look, this is the first house we’ve ever saved.” The old feller took his hat off, scratched his head, and said, “I tell ya what, ‘bout all we saved was the outside walls, but I appreciate it.”

A volunteer fire department is a great thing because the people who volunteer really care for their community. It just takes lots of trainin’, lots of commitment, and lots of specialized expertise to run a first-rate volunteer fire department like this one!

We salute these caregivers to their community!

.     .     .

Who among us has not started a task, hit a snag, and decided to quit? (Quitting is likely not the best response!) Consider these ole’ boys in this true story. They chose a great task, hit many snags (and watched lots of houses burn down), but they never quit! Now, we are reading about them

Next: “Caring and Care-giving in Morning Worship.”

1. Is it my imagination, or do Buffalo wings taste like chicken?
2. I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
3. I had amnesia once — or twice.
4. I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what?
5. Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
6. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
7. If the world were a logical place, men would ride a horse sidesaddle.
8. What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
9. They told me I was gullible — and I believed them.
10. Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
11. Two can live as cheaply as one — for half as long.
12. Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
13. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
14. One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.
15. When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

Ross became blind at nineteen. The following year he met Arlene. Within two years they were married. I asked what it had been like for Arlene to be a caregiver all those years. She said, “It is true that I have been Ross’s caregiver, but Ross is also my caregiver. Care giving is just about mutual for each of us. You see, Ross is a wonderful homemade psychologist. He’s good at encouraging me and keeping me focused. When people first meet us, they think, ‘Poor Arlene, having to take care of her blind husband all of the time. She probably has to feed him and bathe him.’ But none of that is true. Ross takes as much care of me as I do of him. We just do it in different ways.”

To be with them is to see two sensitive and caring people relating to each other in many beautiful ways. When we stopped for gas, Arlene said, “Ross will pump. He always pumps. I go in and pay.” While pumping he said, “There are many things I can’t do, but we are always looking for things I can do. I love to pump.”

As I was paying at a restaurant, I asked, “Would either of you like a piece of peppermint?” Arlene could have reached into the box and handed Ross a peppermint. Instinctively, she guided his hand to the box and he took the candy. When I commented about what she had done she said, “I could have handed him a piece, but he might have wanted one or four pieces. This way, he did it like he wanted to.”

At an earlier time while I was visiting in their city and they were driving me to the airport, Arlene asked, “Ross, which way should we go?”

He asked, “Is the traffic heavy?” “No, the traffic is light right now.” “Then, let’s go Ventura Boulevard.” “Okay. Ventura is coming up in the next block.”

As we entered a seafood restaurant, Arlene said, (as if speaking directly to Ross) “Here is a large aquarium with about a dozen large fish in it. This is a rustic-type restaurant. They have hundreds of caps stapled to the ceiling.” Then she said to us, “I let my eyes do the talking.”

After we were seated, I asked, “Since you are together so much, do either of you ever get on each others nerves?”

Ross said, “Yes, we do sometimes. But Arlene has her women-friends and groups that she attends by herself.”

Arlene said, “And Ross has his men-groups. He’s on the Church Council, but I’m not. We are not together all of the time.” Ross is one of two Lay Leaders in his church of about 800 members. Ross and Arlene teach various classes and lead groups, singly and together.

Ross said, “People talk about being co-dependent. I’m not sure I know what that means. I guess we are co-dependent on each other—but in a positive way.

I asked if they tended to worry about each other? Arlene said, “No, we don’t worry. Sometimes I can’t find him, but it’s because he is working in the yard behind a bush or quietly doing wood-work in his shop.” Ross said, “I always mop the kitchen floor.”

“How do you mop the floor?”

“I mop it on my knees. I put a bucket of water out in the middle of the floor in front of me. After reaching the walls on either side, I move the bucket forward. It’s pretty neat. Arlene says I am a good mopper. At least, she has no desire to re-mop after I have finished.”

“Ross, do you ever feel sorry for yourself?” “Not often. It is not very helpful.”

Ross said, “One thing we have learned about care giving is that it is done best when the one being care for is expected to help.”

Now, both are near seventy. They ride their tandem bicycle just about every morning, beginning at 5:30. They usually ride from six to sixteen miles. Twice a year, they ride in a bike-a-thon for a distance of fifty-five to sixty miles. They don’t ask people to sponsor them so they pay the $65.00 per person. Arlene rides in front and controls direction. Ross rides in back and controls speed by shifting gears. He usually makes all of the decisions about shifting, but occasionally, she will tell him that they are approaches a long hill either up or down. Otherwise, Ross decides through the feel of the pedals when  he needs to shift. They both chuckled when he said, “When we are on the bike, Arlene is shiftless.”

For their fiftieth anniversary they were making a cross-country trip. They planned to have fifty parties with friends and relatives to celebrate their fifty years of marriage.

Oh boy, were we in for a special party! Arlene said, “We don’t like big parties. Just two to eight people are enough for us. You and Rosalie are our thirty-seventh party.” Arlene spread a white tablecloth and she cut a carrot cake—like at all of their previous parties. She brought out the bride and groom dolls that were fifty years old and placed them on the cake, like they had been placed fifty years earlier. She showed us her wedding dress and nosegay she carried down the aisle. She had replaced the original roses with cloth-flowers, but the nosegay had a quaint, nostalgic feel about it. She even had the receipt for their wedding cake. Ross could relate to all of these artifacts, and both of them beamed with delight as they showed us. We were invited to write our names on the white tablecloth. She told us that she will embroidery our signatures, as she has all who signed before us during this trip. The embroidery will feel like Braille to Ross.

They spent one night with us. Care givers? You bet! We felt it between them and we felt it from them. With Arlene and Ross, being a care giver is not just something they do, it is something they are. As they were about to leave I said, “Arlene and Ross, it has been wonderful to have you bless our home. Our home will always be different because you have been here!”

.     .     .

Arlene and Ross are a special case. They made a long-term and deep commitment to “Get-Up-And-Get-Going.” Against many odds, they persevered and they are winners—big time!  . . .

A Tribute to Caregivers of all Kinds

“The Who, Why, What, and Where of Care-giving.”

Caregivers come in just about all sizes, shapes, colors, nationalities, dispositions, and states of inexperience. Some caregivers are new at it, and others have been at it for a while.

Mothers (and Daddies of course) are a special breed of caregivers. Parental care-giving  begins at birth in exhilaration; may move back and forth from childhood illnesses to wellness, to frenzied activities, to growing pains, to times of great pride and joy, to letting go, and setting free.

A Mother discovers that it takes about eight minutes for a child to get sick. Then the former fun-times become heavy-duty times, made up of long hours that may stretch  into several days.

When more than one child is present, the Mother must become flexible in care-giving, because there is the sick child, and one or more well ones. Also, there is Daddy—whether sick or not—who always expects and requires considerable expert care-giving, sometimes more than the sick child. (When a Daddy becomes sick, the needs for care- giving are multiplied exponentially.)

Daddies also step right up beside Mothers as I did for Alan at age eleven when he broke his arm just above the wrist. As the Daddy, I was glad to be a dedicated care-giver. One of my most memorable challenges was watching when it became time for the doctor to remove a surgical wire he had inserted crosswise through the bones of Alan’s hand. I get queasy when a Band-aid has to be removed, so it was difficult for me watch the doctor struggling to remove the wire with pliers, because when he originally cut the wire he left a small crook in the end of it.

That says it for Mothers and Daddies! No doubt about it, they are among our best and most experienced caregivers.

There are also professional caregivers:

• doctors in general
• nurses in particular
• psychiatrists
• ambulance drivers
• teachers
• faithful puppy dogs

The puppy’s pay is plenty of food, frequent and gentle stroking, and opportunities to sleep on the bed with the care-ee.  All other professional caregivers are paid at a higher scale—which doesn’t seem fair.

Non-professional caregivers include almost everyone else who attends a loved-one or a friend in a tough situation.

Because care-giving for the sick and wounded is usually so demanding, a person is fortunate who is sentenced only once to such hard labor.

I have been “around the block”—and even uptown—a few times. I remember dealing with:

• standard hemorrhoids (before and during the “ectomy” stage)
• recurring sieges of bronchitis
• sinusitis
• tendonitis
• a tonsillectomy
• a hysterectomy
• two car wrecks
• four cases of old age (up to 104 ½)
• two broken bones on separate people
• cancer and leukemia among friends
• an unforgettable, bad case of diarrhea

I have often wished for a chance to be a caregiver for someone who has a simple problem like adolescent pimples, or ground-itch on one foot.

Yes, I have heaved, and heaved-ho as a care-giver. I have asked lots of people if they had ever been a career or a caree. Only a few people had not had an experience or a story to tell—and often those who spoke had to wipe away tears.

I have never interviewed anyone who volunteered out of the goodness of their heart to be a care-giver—except a Stephen Minister. But, no one ever does it on a lark. No one has ever told me, “I am trying to decide if I will become a caregiver or go on vacation.”

Caregivers are usually:

• drawn into service
• pushed into service
• drafted into service

There are two reasons why they do it.

The first reason is:  THEY HAVE TO!

You may hear them say,

“Somebody has to do it.”
“There is no one else.”
“What choice do I have?”
“It is unthinkable to just walk away.”
“I cannot stand by and do nothing.”

The second reason is:  THEY WANT TO!

What is a caregiver? TIRED! Bone-tired!

Where is a care-giver? He or she is emotionally, mentally, or actually on the job almost all of the time. Even when the caregiver gets a break and can be away, she or he feels they should be on duty.

Caregivers are a wonderful sub-group within our society, but they are totally unorganized. It would be better if they had meetings to attend, dues to pay, social outings to attend together, a directory of pictures, addresses, phone numbers, fax and e-mail lists. They would at least have something else to think about rather than the same old stuff. They wouldn’t feel so trapped if they were in touch with a support group of other caregivers. They could get on the Internet—just to expand their world and to confirm which century—to say nothing of which millennium—they wish to live in. As individuals and as a group, caregivers need to frequently be recognized and appreciated.

For three weeks after my wife Rosalie broke her arm and shoulder, I took vacation time so I could aid in her recovery. One day she became nervous and discouraged because of her plight and pain.

For three weeks I had:

• vacuumed and kept the house
• washed her hair
• bathed her and the dog
• rubbed her with lotion
• washed and dried the clothes
• written the checks and paid the bills
• tried several times to balance the checkbook
• cooked our meals
• answered the phone
• entertained visitors
• kept up with who brought which casserole dish
• opened and poured and stirred all of her packs of “Sweet and Low” and all of her little creamers for coffee like you get in restaurants
• did the grocery shopping
• bought her some Dental Floss on a stick (and tried to floss her teeth)
• hurt for her and often encouraged her

There was no question about it. I was fully employed! But on one particular day she hit bottom and began to cry. She said, “I wish I had somebody who knows what I am going through.” When she said that, I suddenly felt like the proverbial horse that had been “rode hard and put up wet!” I looked at her but didn’t say a word—aloud! But to myself I said, “Rosalie, for the past three weeks, do you think I have been playing Canasta?”

I thought it, but I didn’t say it, because she was hurting inside and out.

If I had only belonged to a first-rate care-givers’ organization! I could have immediately written a check for my dues, and I would have felt like I had actually accomplished something as a care-giver. I would have felt better on the spot.

I have no doubt about it! Caregivers definitely need to get organized!

As a final word of encouragement from one Care-er to all others, I hope we remember one of life’s greatest truths: “This, too, shall pass!”

Next week: “Caregivers to One Another.”

For Care-ers and Care-ees

When you find it difficult to GET UP, AND GET GOING . . . try some of this Home-made Goulash. It’ll put flavor in your life and you will be “up and going” with something new to think about every week!

.     .     .

I was introduced to Hungarian Goulash when I was a child. Hungarian friends taught Mother how to make it. She didn’t speak Hungarian so she dropped “Hungarian” and made Home-made Goulash. Starting with her largest pot, Mother “swept out the fridge.” She pan-fried hamburger meat, and a little sausage; added any vegetables in sight—canned or fresh—including diced potatoes, okra, chopped onion, celery, and canned tomatoes. She added a little spaghetti, water, and assorted seasonings. Anything, but fruit! She slow-cooked it all day—allowing the ingredients to LOVE, if you will! We would end up with a huge batch of Goulash. We could dip out a cup full, heat it and eat it anytime we chose. It was tastier the third and fourth days than the first. A cauldron of Home-made Goulash was W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L! Everyone felt better after eating a hot cup of Mother’s Goulash.

Perhaps Homemade Goulash is what we need now! Hence, the theme for this weekly  blog: Home-made Goulash! Just like in Mother’s Goulash, lots of different “stuff” will be added here each week. (Everything but fruit!) Instead of “left-over food” our ingredients will be various kinds of stories. Some will be tender; true; imaginary; humorous; encouraging—and lots of other good things!

Home-made Goulash may be just “what the doctor ordered” for  you and others who are faced with a tough situation. Several initial Words of Encouragement will be:

A Tribute to Caregivers of all Kinds
Caregivers to One Another
Caring for the Community
Caring and Care-giving in Morning Worship
Care-giving from Afar
Care-giving in the Pit of Despair
Care-giving While Going Fishing
Care-giving during Duane’s Last Wonderful Days

.     .     .

 If you have a Goulash Story, send it to us
for consideration
for the next
Pot of Goulash.

Endearing marks of a good story are:

It is under 1200 words
It may be true or fictional
It is fun to read
It causes the reader to want to . . .

“GET UP AND GET GOING!”

Send your submissions as an attachment to:  Danny@spiritslaughing.com. We will notify you that is has been received. If we include it in a future batch of“Goulash” we will request a six-sentence bio statement.

.     .     .

If you’ve ever been a Care-er or a Care-ee you know how difficult it is to

Get Up, and Get Going,
day after day.

With next week’s Goulash we begin with eight humorous and tender stories by and about people who are GETTING THE JOB DONE!

Following this initial batch of Goulash we shall post entries on a variety of subjects.

Some will be tender, true, imaginary, humorous, encouraging, other.)

Next week: “A Tribute To Care-givers Of All Kinds.”

We say, “Do not deviate in any way from the program as it is presented.” Here is our reasoning: Here are five independent and essential steps in experiencing God’s transforming power in one’s life. There is a cumulative value in putting all five together. Like laminated wood, together they become many times more than five times stronger than when undertaken separately. Our practice has been to follow this entire program exactly as it came.

The challenge should be given to every adult and youth, alike. All should be invited to respond within a reasonable time. When the announced deadline arrives, the group should be closed for the month. Anyone who becomes interested after the group is closed will be invited to join the next group.

Questions

1. What is the purpose of a Great Experiment Group? It provides a covenant community that can help guide persons in their desire and commitment to put God first! It is a safe place to experiment with authentic spiritual disciplines. It is also like a spiritual rocket booster and often launches persons into ministry.
2. How long should I remain in the group? For at least a month; for as long as it is meaningful to you, and you are growing spiritually; until you are well on your way to doing whatever God calls you to do!
3. How long should a group continue? For as long as it has life . . . and spirit . . . and passion . . . and power. One group has continued for twenty-two years! That is an unusual group and not the norm nor the goal.
4.  Why are there only four months of Scriptures listed for Great Experiment Groups? The hope is that after four months of reading and applying the Bible as suggested here, the group will have begun to find its way in the Bible. After four months it will be an interesting and formative experience for the group to devise its own plan for getting themselves into the Bible and getting the Bible into themselves.

Begin with a Pastor, who will call for even one or two (or twelve or fifty) laypersons  who will stretch themselves to fit the challenge of living profoundly spiritual and fruitful lives.

Just to see the possibilities of that! And to want that! Such is a beginning!

Pastor, we are saying that we feel a hunger for a spiritually transformed life. That is a beginning! If no one feels that hunger, perhaps no one wants to change.

Unless we want to change, we never will!

Observation: Being a member of a dead church, a dying church, a sleeping church, a weak church, a sick church, or a pitiful church is not nearly as good, or as much fun, or as exciting, as being in a church that is alive and loving, serving, growing, seething with spiritual ferment, hope and promise!

I know, because I have been in all of the above.                                                       DEM

The one thing required  to do away with the bad of a church is to enhance the good of a church by putting God first in the church!

Anyone who will!
As many as will!
Whenever they will!
For as long as they will!

Let the People say, “AMEN!”

The “Come and See” meeting should be announced for the week following the first Commitment Sunday, and a second “Come and See” meeting announced for immediately following the deadline for joining the group. Example: If the final deadline is Tuesday at midnight, the final “Come and See” meeting could be held on Wednesday or Thursday evening.

This meeting is to be attended by everyone (youth and adults) who are considering—or have decided—to be in a Group. Announce leaders, locations, and the time for the meetings. Some of those attending the meeting will have already decided; others will not be sure. It is often helpful for everyone to hear about the entire challenge in one sitting. For any who missed a Sunday or so, such a review is often an encouragement to make a decision to participate.

Give a final invitation to respond by asking them to fill out their card, take it to the altar, and pray a Prayer of Commitment before they leave. The simple card should list their name, address, phone number, and their choice of the group they will attend.

Do not try to “hurry up and jump start” a group.

Do not handpick a group of friends, church leaders, or persons you know who need a challenge. The effort will likely backfire and can be divisive.

Go “church-wide” with the challenge. Present it boldly! Teach it! Preach it! Aim for the greatest response possible. There is much preaching and teaching content within the five disciplines. A five-Sunday series on the disciplines is a good way to present the challenge.

. . . To the Church Board (or other appropriate groups)

During this challenge period do all you can to invite and encourage as many as possible to read the book and/or to listen to the CD. Each of you on the Board has a great responsibility to invite persons to consider the challenge to put God first. As a Board Member, be a “participating leader” by calling forth the best response in all areas of your influence.

. . . To Presidents of the Women’s and Men’s Organizations—and all others.

All of you are leaders. Your spiritual leadership in presenting this church-wide challenge is essential for its success. Make the challenge a central part of your program and business meetings during the challenge period. For some persons you will be the only leader that has their attention. Do all you can to encourage the people in your group to put God first! A jump start may be quick, but it will not be lasting!

. . .To Youth and Workers with Youth.

The Great Experiment is not just an “adult thing.” Youth can (and hopefully will) have as much interest and need as anyone to put God first in their lives. Let there be a strong invitation to youth classes and youth groups. Neither the youth nor the church are well served if they are overlooked or neglected. Make the challenge a meaningful part of the youth experience in your church.

If there are enough youth who wish to participate in a regular Group, select an adult leader who has participated in The Experiment and provide a regular Great Experiment Group for interested youth. An all-youth Group can be undertaken on the same basis as the adult version with one modification. Some youth can tithe their allowance on their personal income from work, while others may need to earn money to give. Youth who are not working, designate an amount they will give to God each week in lieu of a tithe, and the means by which they will earn that amount. They record this data as a part of their spiritual commitment. Their commitment may be changed or reaffirmed each week as necessary.

This should not disturb the flow of how you read our posts.  You will still be able to search our site by the themes we write about. If you are a subscriber to our RSS feed you will still be notified whenever we post to either Blog.  Thank you for your faithfulness in reading our posts.